I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
