so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
