I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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