May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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