I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
