My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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