im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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