So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
