Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
