so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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