Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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