Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
