We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
