thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
