Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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