I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
