Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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