so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
