it wasn't lemon gatorade
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Randomize
