I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
id be glad to
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
