HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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