another moral hangover. fuck.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
