Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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