the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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