On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
