Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
