i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
