the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
