why do cheetos always look like penises
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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