I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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