I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
