He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
