Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
wanna go halves on a baby?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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