can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
