would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
bring money and cleavage
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
