Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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