peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
