i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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