farters have to be the big spoon...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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