she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
