You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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