I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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