I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think my moral compass just broke
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
