I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
