return my video game
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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