drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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