it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sext me about skeletons
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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