She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
