3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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