I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
