why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
