I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
