I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
