R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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