i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
